i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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