did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
