There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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