New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
