I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
