Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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