i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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