It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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