I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
