does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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