had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
