He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
