This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
