I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
