that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize