Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
