You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she looked like the before picture.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
