So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
