I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
