dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want nice things and good sex
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
