I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize