i just wanna soil my oats bro
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
