I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
