Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
