Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
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