Plan B is the new Plan A
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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