I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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