But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
