dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
