It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
