walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
