Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
there's paper in my vomit.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
