I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
