just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
