***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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