O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
