so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
