I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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