Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
