Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
