You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
