So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
