im about as happy as oj after his trial
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
