First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
