Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
