I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
