You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
