i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
