I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
