Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I need water and some morals
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
