she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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