Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
