last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize