It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
