I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
