so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
