I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
