Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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